Mitten Meanderings

Maybe it’s the commercials showing vast expanses of blue water, cherry trees, and smiling faces. Perhaps it’s the countless “Great Lakes” license I’ve seen the past few weeks. Or maybe it’s been the string of impossibly hot weather that commenced on Nashville before summer even started. Whatever it is, I am jonesin for summertime in Michigan.

I miss waking up to cool temperatures, and being able to dine outside in the evening without feeling the prick of perspiration. I miss needing a sweatshirt on cool nights, even when it was August. I miss breezy weekends in the sun, complete with surprise sunburns because I was lured into a false sense of security by the cooler temperatures.

I miss ice cream parlors. Real ice cream parlors with names the The Taystee Freeze, Ice Cream Junction, and The Grill and Chill. No homogenized, sterile, brightly lit, marble slab-with-all-the-fixins conglomerate. I want to slurp a hand dipped chocolate-covered vanilla cone while sitting on a weathered picnic table. Watch people come to the window in ill-fitting summer garb and order banana splits. Play the batting cages until the sun sets. And not to mention the ice cream flavors. Where is my Mooney’s Blue Moon? Tell me where I can find real Superman ice cream, and I will spend the rest of my days trying to avoid dripping pink, yellow, and blue drops on my clothes.

And what about the water? What about never being more than an hour’s drive away from a real lake? Not the man made stuff, with built-in grades and two feet of sand shoveled in from some foreign county. I’m talking sand dunes, light houses, and drop-offs that make you scream for your mommy. How I miss the stretches of time spent water skiing, fishing, and soaking up sun from my spot on the boat. How I crave dipping my toes in the water from the edge of the dock.

I miss getting in the car and heading to Pine Knob (sorry, I refuse to call it the DTE Energy something-or-other) for some amazing outdoor music. Where are the shows at The Fillmore, The Shelter, Saint Andrews, or the Royal Oak Theater? Gone are the days of sprawling out on a blanket at Meadowbrook Music Festival.

I’m craving YaYa’s chicken, Boston Coolers from Halo Burger, and mostaccioli al forno from Italia Gardens. I would love to pick-up a Reuben from Oliver T’s and an iced coffee at Tim Horton’s for lunch. I miss happy hours at Damon’s, Grand Blanc Inn, and Blackstone’s. Hell, I’d even settle for a coney at Angelo’s right now.

I know that in a little while, I’ll be back for a visit. And I’ll get my fix, and realize that I’ve spent a month romanticizing all of the things that I was so used to before. I’ll come back to the sultriness of the south and be ok for a few more months. Then, I’ll start missing Christmastime in the Midwest.

Help me, help me, help me sail away
Well, give me two good reasons why I oughta stay
Cause I love to live so pleasantly
Live this life of luxury
Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon

Losing It, Part I

I have been meaning to blog about The Biggest Loser television show for some time now. I have struggled to organize my feelings about this program in a constructive manner, so I have just sat back, and read what far more articulate bloggers have had to say. However, when I saw that Jillian Michaels now has her very own reality fat-hater show, I could stay quiet no longer.

I first, have to own up to a bit of hypocrisy. Right now, a coworker and I are running a Biggest Loser contest at our workplace. I have also purchased and/or rented various Biggest Loser products: cookbooks, exercise DVDs, etc. I have watched the show on a few occasions in the past, but I usually get too angry to sit through an entire season. I have a strong desire to improve my health, and have been healthfully and diligently working on my weight loss through the past year or so. I’m not knocking the desire or attempt to lose weight – I just want to make that clear.

I’ve always wondered what happened to Biggest Loser contestants after their time at the ranch had expired. I rounded up a couple where-are-they-now articles, and was interested to see that many contestants were not able to sustain their weight loss. In fact, most of the featured contestants gained back at least half of the weight they had lost. Sort of makes me wonder how successful the “scream til they drop” technique works in the long term.

Then yesterday, I came across this post over at Body Love Wellness. I remember watching Kai Hibbard a few years back, and found her to be funny and witty, and somewhat of a kindred spirit. I was really sad and disappointed to hear that she had developed an eating disorder. I was not surprised, however, that the show was so cutthroat behind the scenes.

I think what bothers me is that The Biggest Loser has turned into a resource for folks trying to fight the fat, myself included. And what makes me particularly sad is that the show promotes a really ugly approach to taking care of oneself. Most of the professionals I have consulted with regarding weight loss (nutritionists, psychologists, physicians) have all advocated weight loss that is slow-yet-steady. And more importantly, they've advocated treating myself well. Based on what Kai Hibbard has shared, it appears that Biggest Loser producers and consultants have taken a different approach. From what I can tell, this method has not proven successful beyond a few minutes.

All of this leads me to further question why we're OK with this. I'm continuing this post into a Part II, but I think there is a deeper issue at play. Why are we willing to accept and even delight over a form of abuse inflicted upon others?

Losing It, Part II

I had the pleasure of catching about fifteen minutes of Losing it With Jillian this week. I wasn’t able to watch much more than that, so I promptly turned the channel to something more appropriate, like the second season of Friday Night Lights. But I digress. Losing it With Jillian is aptly titled, as watching the show makes a person want to climb the bell tower. The show is more of what you’ve seen of Jillian. Insults, screaming, and a healthy dose of death threats, compliments of Ms. Michaels. In the episode I watched, a mother was humiliated in front of her children. She cried, begged to for breaks, and eventually pushed her huffing, puffing, red-faced self to complete Jillian’s odd combination of exercises. I have seen Jillian perform the same “technique” on Biggest Loser contestants. She treats them like cattle, reminds them of how close they are to dying, and screams and them for falling off treadmills and not being able to lift inordinately heavy weights. All for their own good though, because deep-down she cares very deeply for the fatties.

I then stumbled upon this entry over at fatshionista.com. Now, I don’t necessarily agree with all of Lesley’s opinions, but I appreciate that she articulates herself well, and provides substantial back-up to her arguments. But what shocked me the most about her entry, was the video she posted of Jillian Michael’s hot mic faux-pas during an interview. I think it is a true testimony to her intentions behind the verbal abuse she serves up weekly on The Biggest Loser. Michaels, like many others, views fat people as a sort of non-people. And I believe that Lesley hit the nail on the head when she says :

It’s not simply Michaels’ fat-hatin’ that bugs me, nor is it her penchant for yelling. My problem is that her methods of engaging and motivating her clients is frighteningly close to a relationship which in any other context we would call abusive. Working off the two clips above exclusively — two clips I chose pretty much at random from a multitude of possibilities — I can make this case. For one, Michaels dehumanizes the fat people she works with (”They’re not like normal people”, “half-dead”). She seems to think the brains of fat people have been compromised such that they can only respond to repetitive screaming, not unlike wayward cattle. She makes threats, not just to their physical safety, but to their very lives (”The only way you’re coming off this damn treadmill is if you die on it”). Her abuse is calculated to break her clients down until they weep, and even then she doesn’t let up. She is unpredictable, with a vicious and quick temper, and is apathetic toward (if not gratified by) her clients’ discomfort, be it physical or emotional. There’s even elements of codependency in there, as it’s only when the fat people in question behave as instructed that her mood might change and they may receive some encouragement or support, which is only meted out in doses small enough to keep them craving more. And before any of this happens, the people she trains must first be convinced that they cannot possibly survive without her, that their lives prior to this introduction were worthless, their bodies but hollow shells — or, in this case, shells filled with soulless fat.

The real kicker for me is that a few years ago, I would have seen nothing wrong with Michaels' (or anyone else for that matter) treatment of overweight people. Fat acceptance is something I struggle with, even now. In some ways I do believe that I don't deserve to have a certain amount of success, money, healthy relationships, or love. That I deserve to be treated like a second-rate citizen. And it's not Jillian Michaels' fault that I feel this way; this issue is far more deeply rooted and systemic than some flash-in-the-pan trendster trainer. But I do think that shows like Michaels' perpetuate the emotion many overweight people already feel. The reason there is no backlash towards this type of behavior, is in my opinion, because people don't see anything wrong with it - regardless of what their size may be. There's something so devastatingly wrong about this, but I recognize that I contribute to the problem.

All of this is not to highlight what a horrible person Jillian Michaels is. She's playing a character, and obviously has filled a spot where there was demand for her type of character. There are a million Jillians in the world today, but I suppose this Jillian has made herself a mascot, in more than one way. The point of this exists in a challenge I have with myself. To talk to myself and treat myself the way I would if I were training The Biggest Loser contestants. To stop being so judgmental of other women of substance. To start questioning the mistreatment of all people, not just in cases where it's socially acceptable to do so.