Dear Awesome Neighbor,
I just wanted to thank you and your dogs for waking me up at 2:30AM this morning. It was very refreshing to be stunned into coherence by a shrieking puppy and the slamming of your back door. Additionally, I appreciate the 45-minute coughing session that ensued mere inches from our shared wall thereafter.
Perhaps tomorrow morning, you could turn on your stereo around 3AM. Or maybe, you could run the length of your living space while whistling the Leave it to Beaver theme song. Heck, who am I kidding? You don't even need to be that creative. A little stomping and yelling at your undeservedly sweet dogs should do the trick.
While I realize that my difficulties in falling and staying asleep and your general neighborly awesomeness are mutually exclusive, it would be great if you could muster up a grain of consideration for those who sleep during the hours of 11PM-5AM. It's only a six-hour window where I ask that you lower your obnoxious quotient by a few clicks.
So, as I sludge my way through my grogginess and sleep-deprived-grump during work today, I will raise my coffee cup in the hopes that you have as productive a day as I surely will. Fucker.
Truly Yours,
Exhausted
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