Over the past few weeks, I’ve really been delving into some reading and movies discussing the topic of eating disorders. Since disordered eating is something I struggle with daily, I sometimes find myself searching for answers as to the why and how this all started for me. Aside from this, I also have something called PCOS, which is an acronym for a disease that affects my insulin levels, weight fluctuations, and my ability to ovulate. I’ve been researching a lot into the causes behind PCOS. Most theories seem to put PCOS as the cause of all symptoms related to disease, but there are some schools of thought that believe that obesity can actually cause PCOS.
As I delve into my research, I can only find one recurring theme. That all of this talk of insulin resistance, disordered eating, depression, and a litany of other unattractive symptoms just makes me feel badly about myself. And subsequently triggers me to fall back into dangerous habits. And I hate that.
So, I find myself feeling very stuck in all of this. I want to feel better. I want to manage my PCOS so that not every day feels like an uphill battle. I want to normalize my eating so that the prospect of eating out doesn’t incite a tightening in my chest. I want to be able to discover what I can do to better myself without sending myself into a tailspin of anxiety.
How do I find answers without opening up a new set of questions?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Wealthy Successors Have No Regard
Dear People With Whom I Work:
Prosperity and posterity are not words that are interchangeable. They have have vastly different meanings, despite sharing a similar phonetic pronunciation. Using these words in exchange for one another makes you sounds silly, and can sometimes negate other fundamental concepts you are trying to relay.
Additionally, the word "irregardless" has no true meaning. Yes, this "word" has been added to Webster's dictionary, but only because your educators and mother failed you in a horrible way.
Therefore, the next time you choose to use any of these words as described, do not be surprised by my glazed-over expression. I'm just visiting my happy place.
Sincerely,
Your Considerably Underpaid Co-worker
Prosperity and posterity are not words that are interchangeable. They have have vastly different meanings, despite sharing a similar phonetic pronunciation. Using these words in exchange for one another makes you sounds silly, and can sometimes negate other fundamental concepts you are trying to relay.
Additionally, the word "irregardless" has no true meaning. Yes, this "word" has been added to Webster's dictionary, but only because your educators and mother failed you in a horrible way.
Therefore, the next time you choose to use any of these words as described, do not be surprised by my glazed-over expression. I'm just visiting my happy place.
Sincerely,
Your Considerably Underpaid Co-worker
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Adjusting
I have been playing with a 2009 review blog for the past week or so, but haven't produced anything that didn't sound somehow whiny and narcissistic at the same time. So, instead I found this survey on another blog, and decided this might be a better way to summarize the past 365 days. Happy New Year!
1.What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Walked into a flooded house. And then moved the bare essentials out in about 45 minutes.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did. I'm not a huge fan of resolutions, because I feel like life doesn't necessarily work in a sort of set goal, meet goal pattern. So I've started to make year-end goals instead of resolving to change myself in some prolific way.
3.Did anyone close to you give birth?
Only if co-workers count.
4.Did anyone close to you die?
No, thankfully.
5.What countries did you visit?
Canada!
6.What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A specific vision for my professional future.
7.What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
No dates really stand out. I had some special adventures with my bestie, and some very trying times personally.
8.What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Losing a whole dress size worth of weight.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nah.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A new trench coat, and it was a steal. I get complimented every time I wear it.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Hmmm, that's a tough one. I have to say that I am so proud of my parents. Their marriage was tested this year, and they have come out of it pretty strong.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
All of the "celebrity" parents who made seemingly selfish and money-driven decisions instead of thinking of their children. Jon, Kate, Balloon Boy Dad, etc.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, bills, bills. And a travel.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
That William and I started our podcast. It's been a great tool for us to just relax and talk to each other. I also feel like we challenge each other to pursue creative endeavors.
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Michael Jackson's This is It.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Hmmm. I would say right now, I am happier overall. But I am much more guarded now than I was at the beginning of 2009.
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner!
c) richer or poorer? Ugh.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercising. I often sacrificed Emily Health Time to working.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Working. Whining.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas with my family. The WHOLE family.
21. How many one-night stands?
17. Just kidding. Zero.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
The Office and 30 Rock stand out right now.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No. I am trying to work on some of the negative feelings I still have for people who have wronged me.
24. What was the best book you read?
As cheesy as this sounds, the last Harry Potter book. I saved it as long as could, and finally read it a few months ago.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Adele.
26. What did you want and get?
A Wii! And a white noise machine. I am thankful for family and friends who love me.
27. What did you want and not get?
Inner peace.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Up In The Air and Julie & Julie were my two standouts.
29. What did you do on your birthday?
I spent it in San Francisco, with the person I love the most.
30.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Professional growth, along with a better paycheck.
31. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Justin Timberlake
32. What political issue stirred you the most?
Healthcare reform.
33. Who did you miss?
My family.
34. Who was the best new person you met?
Although I already knew this person before 2009, I gained a wonderful new mentor in a manager I had last year.
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009?
That forgiveness isn't a weakness. And that I can weather a lot more than I thought I could.
36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"And children don't grow up; our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up."
All-in-all, I am happy to kiss 2009 goodbye. Although I know that life doesn't work in plotted, 365-day spans of time, I feel a certain amount of re-energization with the arrival of 2010.
Cheers.
1.What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Walked into a flooded house. And then moved the bare essentials out in about 45 minutes.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did. I'm not a huge fan of resolutions, because I feel like life doesn't necessarily work in a sort of set goal, meet goal pattern. So I've started to make year-end goals instead of resolving to change myself in some prolific way.
3.Did anyone close to you give birth?
Only if co-workers count.
4.Did anyone close to you die?
No, thankfully.
5.What countries did you visit?
Canada!
6.What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A specific vision for my professional future.
7.What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
No dates really stand out. I had some special adventures with my bestie, and some very trying times personally.
8.What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Losing a whole dress size worth of weight.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nah.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A new trench coat, and it was a steal. I get complimented every time I wear it.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Hmmm, that's a tough one. I have to say that I am so proud of my parents. Their marriage was tested this year, and they have come out of it pretty strong.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
All of the "celebrity" parents who made seemingly selfish and money-driven decisions instead of thinking of their children. Jon, Kate, Balloon Boy Dad, etc.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, bills, bills. And a travel.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
That William and I started our podcast. It's been a great tool for us to just relax and talk to each other. I also feel like we challenge each other to pursue creative endeavors.
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Michael Jackson's This is It.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Hmmm. I would say right now, I am happier overall. But I am much more guarded now than I was at the beginning of 2009.
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner!
c) richer or poorer? Ugh.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercising. I often sacrificed Emily Health Time to working.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Working. Whining.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas with my family. The WHOLE family.
21. How many one-night stands?
17. Just kidding. Zero.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
The Office and 30 Rock stand out right now.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No. I am trying to work on some of the negative feelings I still have for people who have wronged me.
24. What was the best book you read?
As cheesy as this sounds, the last Harry Potter book. I saved it as long as could, and finally read it a few months ago.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Adele.
26. What did you want and get?
A Wii! And a white noise machine. I am thankful for family and friends who love me.
27. What did you want and not get?
Inner peace.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Up In The Air and Julie & Julie were my two standouts.
29. What did you do on your birthday?
I spent it in San Francisco, with the person I love the most.
30.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Professional growth, along with a better paycheck.
31. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Justin Timberlake
32. What political issue stirred you the most?
Healthcare reform.
33. Who did you miss?
My family.
34. Who was the best new person you met?
Although I already knew this person before 2009, I gained a wonderful new mentor in a manager I had last year.
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009?
That forgiveness isn't a weakness. And that I can weather a lot more than I thought I could.
36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"And children don't grow up; our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up."
All-in-all, I am happy to kiss 2009 goodbye. Although I know that life doesn't work in plotted, 365-day spans of time, I feel a certain amount of re-energization with the arrival of 2010.
Cheers.
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