Is It?

I try not to think of what I would do if the unthinkable happened. What if I lost a member of my family, or my house burned down, or everything I had worked hard to achieve disappeared? I guess I avoid thinking about these things because I fear that I would just wither away and never be heard from again.

The unthinkable happened to Horatio Spafford. Several decades ago, Horatio lost almost everything. His business and home were destroyed in the Great Chicago Fire. Two years later, he sends his family on a European vacation, and his four daughters are killed when the boat they are travelling on crashes into another boat. When Horatio's wife notified him of the tragedy, he hopped the next boat to Europe. And what did he do during the lengthy journey across the Atlantic? He wrote a song. Not a song of lament, or anger, or bitter resentment. Not a song becrying the tragedies of the years past. No, instead, Horatio writes what is quite possibly the most peaceful and praise-filled hymn sung today, It is Well With my Soul.

I can't imagine the kind of internal serenity Spafford possessed to be able to write something so prolific at such a tragic time. I can't imagine having a faith so deep, strong, and all-encompassing that I would have the clarity to know that my soul was ever going to be ok. I wish I had faith like that. I wish I was able to take enough stock in something greater than myself. Enough that all of the minutia of the day-to-day details became just that. Details. So that everything of importance; my mind, body, heart, and spirit were saturated with tranquility. So that minor inconveniences, careless friends, or missed deadlines weren't enough to flush my cheeks.

I have a hard time with faith, mostly because I can't see it or touch it. Disappointment occurs more than fulfillment, and I just assume the status quo. I don't say this to be self-deprecating, but more because I am so baffled by those who choose to believe that it really is going to be ok. And not just for the next five minutes.

I wish it could just hit me over the head. Some life altering moment that causes me to take action on this faith thing and really feel the peace Spafford so fondly put to words.

No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper thy peace to my soul