How is that a little Kanye West and Cheetos can become the cure-all for an emotionally ravaging day? I submit that Cheetos are made in part with crack, as there is no other logical explanation for their deliciousness or addictive quality.
Group today was rough, and I think it had to do with the fact that I’m actually doing pretty well. It’s a strange guilt I feel to know that I’m moving past all of the mental angst I feel in regard to myself. Things aren’t wonderful by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m feeling sad for all of my friends in group who are where I was one year ago, or two years ago, or three years ago. The problem is that there is not a formulaic response to recovery; it’s sort of trial and error to find your groove and then when you lose your way, you go back to square one and look for your groove again. It broke my heart a little bit to hear about the struggles my friends are facing. It broke my heart to know that I can’t fix it for them. What I can do right now is keep on plugging away at this. Maybe at some point I can be an inspiration to my friends at group.
I wish I had an internal switch that prevented me from being nauseated by desperate women. I wish I wasn’t affected so greatly by the behavior of immature bottom-dwellers who lack any morsel of self preservation. Mostly I wish I could stop caring about those who do not have my best interest at heart. The fact is that we all have our own stuff; almost without exception everyone has experienced some type of pain or bitterness or unfortunate circumstance in his/her life. At some point, you chose not to expel your own existential crises onto others. At some point, you chose to just live for yourself whether or not anyone is watching. At some point, you make peace with the universe and eventually you make peace with yourself.
i gotta beeline double time
Group today was rough, and I think it had to do with the fact that I’m actually doing pretty well. It’s a strange guilt I feel to know that I’m moving past all of the mental angst I feel in regard to myself. Things aren’t wonderful by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m feeling sad for all of my friends in group who are where I was one year ago, or two years ago, or three years ago. The problem is that there is not a formulaic response to recovery; it’s sort of trial and error to find your groove and then when you lose your way, you go back to square one and look for your groove again. It broke my heart a little bit to hear about the struggles my friends are facing. It broke my heart to know that I can’t fix it for them. What I can do right now is keep on plugging away at this. Maybe at some point I can be an inspiration to my friends at group.
I wish I had an internal switch that prevented me from being nauseated by desperate women. I wish I wasn’t affected so greatly by the behavior of immature bottom-dwellers who lack any morsel of self preservation. Mostly I wish I could stop caring about those who do not have my best interest at heart. The fact is that we all have our own stuff; almost without exception everyone has experienced some type of pain or bitterness or unfortunate circumstance in his/her life. At some point, you chose not to expel your own existential crises onto others. At some point, you chose to just live for yourself whether or not anyone is watching. At some point, you make peace with the universe and eventually you make peace with yourself.
i gotta beeline double time
leave my home sweet home for your honeycomb
then i show up steady, ready and proud
and i find I've forgotten how to talk out loud
isn't it just like you to bring me to my knees
in my brand new stockings
while the cat is out with my tongue
isn't it just like you to bring me to my knees
in my brand new stockings
love makes me feel so dumb
No comments:
Post a Comment