...But Could You Bottle it Up?

I'm exhausted right now but apparently sleep is not a priority for my tired little brain tonight. A couple nights ago, I underwent a sleep study to figure out why my sleep patterns and schedule are so inconsistent...to say the least.

So, I arrived at the sleep clinic around 8PM, and was promptly escorted to hotel-ish looking room. I was hooked up to approximately 57847389 wires and then had to figure out a way to go to sleep with enough electricity to power the eastern seaboard attached to my cranium. I finally found a comfy place and relaxed enough to fall asleep. I was told by the tech at the clinic that I would have to log at least two hours of continuous sleep (meaning that if I woke up, the time would start over) in order to have any type of treatment administered. Nonetheless, no treatment was administered during the seven hours I spent in bed. Which kind of freaked me out and calmed me down at the same time.

I'm a generally tired girl. I drink coffee and try to exercise and stay peppy overall, but I'm pretty much exhausted at any given time. It makes me feel slightly better to know that it's because I'm not getting any type of decent sleep. It also makes me feel like I'm a geriatric because I don't think I should have these types of issues at such a young age. Which, of course, leads to cyclical guilt, self-loathing, and general disdain for my very existence. I'm just hoping I can have this resolved relatively quickly. Like right now.

That said, I do feel okay about myself right now. I've been doing a lot of writing and reflecting, and I've been keeping a notebook with my food journal, exercise log, along with an overview of my feelings while I'm doing each of those activities. Keeping a food journal has been about 489 times more beneficial than I thought it would be. First, it keeps me in check, because when I know I have to write down what I've eaten I tend to eat less. Also, it helps me recognize and prevent those moments when I eat because of some type of emotion.

One of my friends has been kind of keeping a food journal with me, and as part of this exercise, we decided that we would save all of the receipts from our food purchases for a two-week period. Let me tell you something - we both spent a ton of money on food. It's difficult being a single girl and saving money on food purchases. I know that sounds kind of backwards and oxymoronic, but it's true. Cooking takes a lot of time, and it's hard to justify spending that kind of time to feed just one person. Plus, most recipes and boxed meals serve four or more people. This requires a lot of tupperware purchases, eating leftovers, or wasting food. And when we're talking about career girls, like me and my friend, cooking is below the lowest possible priority when we come home after a long day at work. That said, the food journal helped me realize that I can come up with a plan to accomodate my lifestyle and not suck a bunch of my free time up to plan, prepare, and package food.

So, I just have a couple more details to put in place before I start full-fledge with the plan I talked about last month. I feel really prepared for this. I've been journaling for three weeks, I've got a shopping list of the things I need to buy to get ready for the exercise plan I've worked out. I even have a mantra and a motivational poster. Cheesy, I know, but at this point I think any little bit of encouragement is helpful. Here I go.

I'm not satisfied with this lifetime
I'm following you to the other side
There's nothing that can change my mind
You're all I need